How to Get Rid of Hickeys by Way of the Zodiac

Hickeys? Are they still around?

I remember getting little hickeys. I remember getting big hickeys. And I remember getting light hickeys, and dark hickeys too. What I do not remember is ever getting a hickey that was not on my neck, but I am wondering, where is your hickey?

I am sorry, but I could not astrologically resist this humorous topic. I read in a recent newsletter sent to my e-mail inbox that this question, How To Get Rid of a Hickey, happened to be a high volume search in Google last month. I could not stop laughing but moreover it just brought back a flood of memories.

One memory I resisted to remember, was that of that age old folk lore method that required cutting a small hole near the hickey and allowing a leech, stuck to your hickey, to suck out the blood that was making up your hickey. If you too heard of this method and are giving it some thought–then you might have a more serious problem at hand than the hickey itself.

First of all, where the heck are you going to get the leech? And if you were able to find a leech, where in the heck on your body is the hickey? Cause there are just some places that leeches do not belong.

Are ya feeling me here?

Now the urgency to get rid of a hickey all depends where on the body the hickeys lies–right? Right. Well, there is the neck hickey. There is the boobie hickey. Then there is the really really randy hickey—which is the one you-got-on-your-inner-thigh hickey; but as far as I can grasp the problem, the boobie hickey and the inner-thigh hickey are really only a big problem if your married or exclusively intimate with someone who is other than the one who gave you the hickey.

If this is you, just get out of town. But,

If you are single and just need to hide the hickey from your parents, co-workers, or your next date; as far as I know, there really is not anyway to get rid of a hickey. I use to grab a long tooth comb and tried combing them out–but that only made it worse.

A Turtle neck or a scarf is the only answer.

Sadly a hickey will only fully disappear on its own. But perhaps some help or at least a laugh on How to Get Rid of a Hickey can be had according to your Sun Sign.

Let’s take a run through the twelve.

Aries folk should just fall down and hurt their heads so that the doctor can wrap them up and take the attention away from the hickey.

Taurus folk should just buy more turtle necks. If it is summer time–just make ‘em sleeveless.

Gemini folk should just keeping talking and asking questions so that a potential hickey observer won’t get the chance to notice the hickey—just confuse them with jibber-jabber.

Cancer folk should just enjoy the sentiment that the hickey brings to both the mind and heart; and make a week out of staying home.

Leo folk, depending on the dignity of their Sun’s position in the natal chart, will either love to show off their hickey, or will subtly hide it while checking on it every so often in the bathroom so they can say, «Wow, now that’s a big sucker».

Virgo folk? «Oh No, please don’t give Virgo a hickey». It will throw them completely off balance and hiding it will become their next full time job.

Libra folk are «showingly» nice, but secretly naughty, so they will find a clever way to hide their hickey one moment only to avail a quick flaunt of their hickey the next. These folk will actually design the right clothes for the hickey wearing occasion.

Scorpio folk can just hang the «Do Not Disturb» sign on the bedroom door knob. Parents won’t know the difference as they are use to this recluses’ behavior. But be sure this one will be figuring out his passionate revenge.

Sagittarius folk are probably going to get caught because their carefree and «outthere» personality can’t help but let it just hangout there for all to see–unless of course it is the weekend and they can leave town till it fades.

Capricorn folk will never experience a hickey. They are the one zodiac sign that is still trying to get themselves to have a hand holding moment in public.

Aquarius folk don’t care if you see it or you don’t. They are already thinking about starting a website thats all about hickeys…like How to get ‘em. How to keep ‘em. And how to measure their width, height and depth of color so they can be entered their Photo Hickey of the Month contest.

Pisces folk will romance over their hickey trying different shades of foundation makeup to create the illusion that the hickey is not really there, but all the while these stars signs are mindfully awaiting the next hickey making episode.

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Author: Wuduk MaAti

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